apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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