I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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