umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you win again, gameday.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
