yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
