Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We left an ass print on the piano.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
