Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
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Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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