I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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