i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
