Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
