i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
