oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
