But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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