he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
