You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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