Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
