i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
