Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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