plz talk dirty to me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
