i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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