she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
