i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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