dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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