i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
