last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
