so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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