He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
