4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
