spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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