i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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