How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
