You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
