But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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