Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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