Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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