Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
