I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
