Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize