Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
