Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
