Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
