the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
