thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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