He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
