I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
