why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
