she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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