he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
