I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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