the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
