I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
