accomplished twins. life is a go
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
