I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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