? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
