Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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