it was like his penis was on wheels.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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